#PERIOD AFTER Jasmina Tesanovic - 20/04/1999- Belgrade


Wir versuchen alle Texte in allen Sprachen zu veröffentlichen. Wegen begrenzter Ressourcen ist dies nicht immer möglich. Sollten Sie Interesse haben Texte für uns zu übersetzen, bitte schicken Sie uns eine Email.


Trudicemo se da sve tekstove predstavimo na svim jezicima. Obzirom da su nam izvori, budzet i broj ljudi veoma ograniceni znamo da necemo biti u mogucnosti da ovaj cilj u potpunosti postignemo. Ukoliko zelite da nam pomognete oko prevoda molimo vas da nas kontaktirate na.

April 20th, 99
Instead of going on bridges people should guard the factories of potential ecological catastrophes, two of them I hear are very dangerous, and were hit. I hear say that people on bridges are manipulated by parties, that parties are fighting among them to manipulate the same crowds, but I saw their faces, and I am one of them. I don't wear badges, I never wear any public signs, in war or in peace: I feel manipulated to wear Levi on my jeans, I never buy signed clothes nor signed thoughts. But I am as manipulated as people on the bridges , on the streets, in queues for cigarettes, with patriotic or traitor's thoughts. I know it and I am ready to offer my body to protect the dangerous factories or to be a dividing unarmed wall between Serbs and Albanians in Kosovo. It is a heroic way of being a coward. But nobody gives me, nor people like me any chance.
Some people I know, doing nothing, hearing no news and just fearing the future, unable to do anything about it , change their political ideas from left to right in half an hour, during one conversation: educated, intelligent people. Are they manipulated, are they mad, is that the way of being bad Serbs as some abroad call us... I have so many senses of guilt, private and public, but their is a global one that incorporates both of them when I close my eyes every night in bed: it is a sense of being exactly what I am, there is something wrong in it, if nothing , the fact that I cannot find anything to love about me, meaning there is nothing I can pass on.
I watch the movies in a different way since our war started: I notice that in every exciting film there is at least one scene of true well represented violence: the emotional impact of art or industry is based on this true shock to your nervous system: that is why I cannot watch movies anymore, but listen to Requiem, by Mozart, because he starts from the point which claims: death has come to get you, be prepared and be happy.
Oh, yes, and something about atrocities, about Albanian refugees... Please, all of you who are reading this understand that I accept all the blame as much as you want me to. I know what is going on, even if I have no proofs but some people saying it, as I am saying all these things about my life, expecting you to believe me. Now, what is my cross: NATO bombs, Serbian patriotic death. OK, between compulsive patriotism and compulsive sense of guilt, I guess there is no way out. It would take another life to do so.
And between claims that chemical factories have been hit together with a tobacco factory and claims that it hasn't been so, there is not much space: we have to breath air, drink water... even if we don't have to smoke cigarettes but smoke in the air, over water, woods will cover, all sides, in and without uniforms, good or bad ones...
We are trying to present all texts in all languages. However, due to a limited resources we are not always able to achieve this goal. If you would like to translate material for us, please contact us.