#PERIOD AFTER Jasmina Tesanovic - 22/04/1999- Belgrade


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April 22nd, 99
Every night I drink wine in order to go to sleep, I give it even to the children so that their sleep is deeper so that the detonations are shallower. But my dreams speak of what my mind refuses to know: last night I dreamt that somebody was going to set up my daughter to be involved in the murder of the Colorado high school pupils. I dreamt of a photo with the two killers/boys and my daughter's face in the middle. She knows nothing of it, I know too much: she is in the photo because she is Serbian. Now, I don't believe in that kind of rubbish, you have prejudices everywhere, even when you think you don't; but then, this morning I saw on CNN how Serbian children are harassed in a American school for being Serbs, for being responsible of Serbian policy. I don't like my dreams, I don't like my reality, I will try tonight without wine, and without sleep... Last night the president's residence was hit and destroyed: no comment. Does anybody really want my comment. The official TV is giving pictures of the destroyed villa in long dumb silence, the foreign TVs take it personally. Again, we political idiots, have a specific dimension: now I thought immediately of the mother of my friend abroad, an old woman who lives alone in the neighborhood: she definitely was in her house, she doesn't have shelters nor other options. I know her history, because of her father's house in that residential power zone. All the people in power, as they came to power, wanted to get rid of her. But for 4 generations now, the family managed to keep their house, against all, now finally against NATO. I wish that women like her win all the wars.
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