#PERIOD AFTER Jasmina Tesanovic - 27/04/1999- Belgrade


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April 27th, 99
Last night I switched on TV: on ten channels we had the same program, the official news, the ones whose building was destroyed by NATO: the same news the whole day. Between the news we had films and music, different on each channel, but all united every now and then by the same pictures of war. Then I saw my friend Viosa on BBC, an Albanian from Kosovo: a human rights activist, a doctor, a beautiful woman. She was telling all the atrocities that happened to her whilst running for her life from Pristina. I started crying, her story I know since she left and some other of our feminist friends, I guess it is not the story in itself. It is her: she has changed, her face has something of a person who will never laugh again, be superficial... I suppose , mine too, if I dared look myself in the mirror. I remember when with Viosa and many other women we went to Zagreb on a feminist conference in 96: she was taken off the bus by Croatian authorities, together with other two Serbian refugees from Croatia and entrance visa was refused to them only. The rest of us didn't want to go on, but we did, feeling lucky we, Serbs, entered finally Croatia. The Serbian refugees never got their visa, never got back to their homes: that was the practice of the official policy of "The return of refugees" but Viosa got it. Her only problem at Croatian border was that she was an Albanian: not a Serb, or a Croat. I remember being stripped at the Hungarian border in 93-94-95, because I was a Serb And in other countries. But some of the parts of Viosa's story go beyond it, I feel deep down my stomach that it can happen and is happening to everybody. Notwithstanding the nation but related to a place and a policy: and I am afraid. Last night, an enormous blast, as if round the corner: again the ex central committee: I don't even know what's inside today, but for some reason, you can hear it more than much closer targets, when it gets hit. We called our friend and relatives, checked we are alive and went to bed: as NATO generals say, we feel safe with regular bombs, or our politicians, we must work even harder with NATO bombs.
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