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May 23rd, 99 The people on the streets want to be filmed, they want to tell us their opinions, fears: even the policemen we were hiding the cameras from. It is a big carnival of anxiety to phrase in their own words their life: to survive...They hardly believe their own words: some are angry with NATO some with the whole world, some with local power. But they all see the pointless situation they are in, they just want to survive and tell us about it. Just as me. We fear of isolation more than of bombs. I young soldier has come back on leave for three days: The one I dreamt of as dead, my joy is not personal, my joy is universal, for all those who managed to stay safe and sane. I talked to him, he sounds more in touch with his mind than I am: otherwise we are on the same wavelength. I am not sure we were so before the war. We are without electricity for more than 24 hours now. Some don't even have water. There is absolutely nothing we can do. We cannot cook, clean, read, use PC, watch TV. Yes, we can talk and phone each other and play cards by the light of candles. But we have never done that before. U just stare in front of me and relax, think. The anxiety goes out of me and I dream and drowse. It is raining heavily, the light is low, it is cold outside: very strange weather for this tome of the year, probably has to do more with NATO weapons than with God as some superstitious people claim. And we are all becoming superstitious the more we are isolated, as people in a tribe. We go to bed and get out of bed, who cares about the hour of the day. We sleep a lot and I wonder if we should take a pill and oversleep this void. I phone my parents, they tell me, don't worry the Russians will give us electricity. They always manage to calm me with fairy tales as when I was a kid. Truth doesn't help in these situations of Superior Will and Command. A lots of emails and phone calls from unknown people who read me and want to share my pain. I am astonished. We are trying to present all texts in all languages. However, due to a limited resources we are not always able to achieve this goal. If you would like to translate material for us, please contact us. |
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